Career changes are intimidating and life altering. They are not to be taken lightly. I started this blog as a way to cope with stress and document my journey that I thought would take me far away from teaching. But it turns out, I’m just not ready to step away from the classroom.
So, basically I feel like a poser. I posted all of my gripes, all of my desires for change, and yet you will find me in the classroom again. There’s no denying that all the change of this past year made me realize I was craving stability. There’s no denying that when push came to shove, I was scared to take a leap into something new. There are a few reasons why I’m sticking around in teaching…at least for now. But, the main reason is that through the struggles of last year and after tons of reflection, I rediscovered my “why.”
As teachers, we are asked to keep our “why” in perspective always. This job is hard. It challenges you mentally, physically, and emotionally. There are days where the “why” is your only sustenance to keep you moving forward. I lost sight of my “why” last year.
Yes, I still want to pursue other dreams. But for the time being, I am going to my best to show my students that they are loved and that they are important and that their voices matter.
I felt like a poser for a long time. I still do at times. It kept me from writing on this blog. I made a big deal of changing careers and now I’m not making any changes. Poser.
Regardless of what job I have this year, one thing remains the same: I am still navigating life and the peaks and valleys that come with it. I am not perfect nor do I have to be in order to write on this blog. I have to remind myself and rediscover my “why” of writing on here.
I find peace when my thoughts are arranged on the page. My mind is like a crumpled up piece of paper that only becomes smooth and legible when I turn words into sentences. Jumbled thoughts become clear and I feel like I can make sense of the world again.
This blog is for me at its core. But I love the idea that someone might stumble across it and find a kindred spirit. If that is you, then this blog is for you, too. We’re not posers. Just ordinary people trying to make sense of an extraordinary life.