Now What?

For those of you following along, you’re probably wondering, “If you’re not going to teach, what ARE you going to do?”

If you were expecting an answer, you’ll only be disappointed because I don’t know yet. Yup, you read that right. I don’t know what I want to do next. I’m 26, I’ve tried out my dream job (or one of them, anyway), realized it wasn’t quite what I thought it would be, and now I’m sitting here wondering, Now what?

When life hands you lemons, throw them in the trash and open a bottle of wine. Not sure what path I’ll take, but if it’s as beautiful as this one, I’ll be alright. Napa, CA 2017

When I tell y’all I’m having a quarter life crisis, I’m only half kidding! I am in a place in my life where my personal life (new, happy marriage, 2 adorable doggos, supportive family and friends) is right where I want it to be! But, my career is bringing me down and instead of letting it drain me, I finally have the courage and desire to make a change and pursue other “dream jobs!” Maybe I’ll eventually land on the right one!

It also got me thinking, surely I can’t be the only one who is feeling this way!? I saw so many close friends starting businesses or “side hustles” that followed their passions! And I’ll be honest. I was jealous. My sister, some of my best friends, and even acquaintances I follow on Instagram were all out there getting started on a project that not only made them really happy, but fulfilled them in ways that I had been searching for!

Hell, my husband started a new job this year, too! He was brave enough to accept a job that would take us hundreds of miles away from our family and friends in pursuit of finding a career he would enjoy and grow. He was making the necessary changes in order to be a better version of himself! It was just as scary for him as it is for me (even though he handles it a lot better than I do)!

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”

-Dr Seuss

Maybe it’s my education background, but I kept hearing Dr. Seuss in my head, “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” So I marched my shoes down a path of rediscovering old passions.

I’ve been a book worm since the second grade when I discovered The BFG by Roald Dahl! Game changer. It opened the door to the world of fantasy. I have one foot in that door at all times now. This was the easiest passion to rediscover. I never really stopped reading, but I had let my “busy-ness” take over and reading fell on the back burner. Quarantine helped bring it back to the forefront of my life because what else do you do when you’re stuck at home? I’ve happily read lots of books since March and don’t plan on stopping again. Ever.

Along with reading, writing has always been a hobby. An outlet. My best expression of feelings, thoughts, fears, worries, and joys. I always wanted to be a writer, but never knew where to start. I couldn’t start. I have so many ideas and stories swimming in my brain, but never could seem to get it just right. So I’d give up. Perfectionist and procrastinator extraordinaire. You’ll soon learn the starting and stopping is a theme in my life. Oops.

Writing a book is the one thing I always tell people is my biggest dream. Like the “If you could do anything in the whole world, have one wish from a genie” kind of dream! Whether or not I ever get published, I hope I can accomplish completing a book. That’s what I’m trying to do now in my spare time. Writing bits and pieces, here and there. It isn’t thousands of words at a time, but I’ve started! I’m pretty proud of myself for this one! I’ve also started this blog, or journal, or whatever you want to call it! I’m writing again and I’m happy. And while I’d love for you to read my posts and subscribe and follow me on this journey, if all I get out of this is reconnecting with a long lost passion, I’m content.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Um, Julia, that’s great and all, but you still have to find a new job. You know, to live.” You are correct. Maybe some of you have ideas you could share with me! This is my journey I’m sharing with you all. I’m not here to give advice (please don’t take my advice…not yet, anyway). I’m here to say, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!” And hope that someone out there, who is a few steps ahead, reads this and can toss a life vest and help a sister out!

So, now what? Keep chugging along? That’s what I’m going with for now. Seriously though, help a sister out. What should I do?

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